The importance of sex in every marriage cannot be over-emphasised and it can also be said to be one of the pillars of marriage. However, sex is to be enjoyed by couples and parties should be free in expressing what they want from their spouses. Saturday PUNCH asks some people who they think should initiate sex.
I will, even before she asks
Judge Adewale
A man should. But, most men engage in extra marital affairs which could affect their commitment to their wives. If a man had met with his concubine outside, he might not be able to initiate sex when he’s at home because the whole thing might even be irritating to him. Ideally, the man should, but that does not stop the woman if she feels like, the only thing is that it should not be too often. It is also a problem if she asks and you don’t satisfy her, that could lead to infidelity. For me, three times a week is okay and she wouldn’t need to ask for it before I give it to her.
Anyone can initiate it
Tolulope Abimbola
Well, I believe if both the husband and wife are close, and they really talk together as friends, either of them can make the first move, depending on who is in the mood. I don’t think there is anything special about it. Since sex should be a mutual thing, if I feel like having it, I will tell my husband and he won’t cut off my head for that. As a matter of fact, I think in a marriage where only the husband asks, it is not going to work out. Both parties should open up to each other so as to avoid extra-marital affairs, especially in a case where one party’s urge is stronger than the other.
Men can’t help it
Ifeanyi Achilonu
A man should initiate sex most of the time. For me, when I drink, it facilitates my sexual urge and when I get home, I make the move, and that could be about three or four times in a week, it depends. She rarely initiates sex but if she does, even if I’m tired, I will still do it because if I don’t, that may be unfair, so I have to do it, for the sake of the marriage and love. But if it becomes too frequent, I will caution her. Also, men are moved by what they see, so a woman’s dressing is enough to lure a man, and that is another reason men do it more.
I won’t be satisfied if I initiate it
Folakemi Oke
I think any party can initiate it. I don’t think it is good for women to feel shy about asking for it. In my opinion, men have a stronger urge for sex than women, making it a ‘normal’ thing for the men to ask for it first. As for me, though, I can initiate it but I don’t usually do it. If I do, I will not be satisfied. I enjoy it better when my husband makes the move.
Anyboby can start it
Amoko Fred
In the olden days, it was a taboo for a woman to ask for sex, so, our culture made it look like a bad thing if a woman initiates sex. Ideally, anybody can initiate sex but I think men do it more. Also, men do a lot of things to sustain the family, hence, if the woman should make moves when the man is tired, he might not respond but that does not mean he should be rude. Some women also believe that men should start it and that if they do, men may look down on them. Even if my wife initiates it all the time, I will satisfy her, because if you don’t, anything can come in.
My husband should make the move
Deola Lawal
It is the man that should initiate sex. If he wants it, he should do it. My reason is that women have the ability to hide their sexual feelings for as long as they want. So the person (husband) that cannot hide his should make the first move. In fact, I believe every normal complete man should be the person to initiate sex in a marriage.
Her’s is to dress, mine is to start it
Chukwemeka Okeke
A woman should initiate it, specifically with her dressing. The wife is supposed to wear dresses that are appealing and that can easily seduce the man, failure to do that means a man has to make the move when he feels like. A woman is supposed to dress hot in the house because if she dresses ‘well’, an average man will be interested in sex at that moment. Her own is to dress, my own is to start it. By impressing the man with her looks and pleasant appearance, she’s started it silently. Even if she’s tired, her dress shouldn’t look tired. Most ladies are not romantic enough to initiate sex may–be because they feel men could see them as being promiscuous if they start it, but their dressing can tell us what they want.
It’s the man’s responsibility
Fola Oyatabo
The man should initiate it. After all, he is the one in charge of the home. Being the head of the family comes with responsibilities and this could be one of them. He must not be dull or slack when it also comes to sexual issues. Though sex is enjoyed by both parties, I believe it is the man’s responsibility to make the first move, then the wife would respond.
It’s not really ideal for a woman to do
Sunday Udeozor
Anybody can initiate sex. As a couple, it shouldn’t matter who starts it, there should be understanding between them so that if one starts it the other is also ready for action. The only issue is that if the woman initiates it too much, a man can easily see her as being an addict or that she has a problem which he may not like. So, it’s not really ideal for the woman to do, but it’s safe for a man. I also feel that wives should dress to seduce their husbands, and sex should not be more than thrice a week, so that there is enough time to recover. Even if we quarrel, I won’t let it extend to our sex life.
I’m shy to ask my husband for sex
Kemi Adigun
It should be the husband. If he doesn’t do it, the wife may think something is wrong with him. As a wife, I feel shy asking for sex from my husband. It is not because there is anything bad in it; it is because I believe somehow that it should be my husband’s job to tell me it is time. Or maybe it’s part of the cultural thing that has been inculcated into the mind of women like me.
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